Common questions
Questions about family violence and finding support
Straightforward answers to questions people often have about recognizing abuse, contacting hotlines, and helping children. These answers are general guidance, not legal or clinical advice. For your specific situation, talk to a trained advocate or professional.
In immediate danger, call 911 when it is safe to do so. Choosing any button on this site does not dispatch help or file a report.
How do I know if what I am experiencing is abuse?
Abuse is not only physical. It can include threats, intimidation, isolation, controlling finances, monitoring your movements, or pressure to the neck. If someone's behavior makes you feel afraid, controlled, or unable to make your own choices, that pattern may be abuse. A trained advocate at a hotline can help you think through what you are experiencing without judgment, and you do not need to use any specific label before reaching out.
What happens when I call a domestic violence hotline?
When you call a hotline like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a trained advocate listens and helps you think through your options. They will not force you to leave, file a report, or take any action you are not ready for. The conversation is confidential, and the decisions are yours. You can also text or chat online if calling is not safe. Advocates can help with safety planning, understanding your options, and connecting you to local resources.
Will the person who hurt me find out I contacted a hotline?
Hotline contacts are confidential. However, if you share identifying details about a child being harmed, the organization may need to contact authorities to protect the child. Calls and texts may leave a record on your phone bill or device. If you are concerned about someone monitoring your device, use a phone or computer they do not have access to, and consider clearing your browsing history after visiting support websites.
How can I help a child who might be experiencing abuse?
If you are worried about a child, you can call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 800-422-4453 for guidance from a trained counselor. They can help you think through next steps without requiring you to file a report. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. In Texas, you can report suspected child abuse to the Texas Abuse Hotline at 800-252-5400. You do not need to be certain that abuse is occurring before reaching out for guidance.
Is it abuse if there is no physical violence?
Yes. Coercive control — patterns of monitoring, isolation, financial control, threats, and humiliation — can be serious even without physical violence. These behaviors can limit a person's freedom and safety just as much as physical harm. Pressure to the neck, even without visible marks, can be life-threatening. Recognizing the pattern is the first step toward getting help. You do not need to wait for physical violence before contacting a support service.
What should I do if I am in immediate danger?
If someone may be seriously hurt right now, call 911 when it is safe to do so. Emergency services can send responders to your location. If you cannot safely make a call, try to get to a public place or a neighbor's home. A safety plan developed with a trained advocate can help you prepare for moments of crisis before they happen. Choosing a button on this website does not dispatch help or file a report.
Where to go next
If you recognize yourself or someone you know in these questions, support is available. You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.