For caregivers
Support for protective caregivers
If you are a parent, relative, or caregiver worried about a child's safety during separation, visitation, or custody proceedings, this page offers guidance and support links.
In immediate danger, call 911 when it is safe to do so. Choosing any button on this site does not dispatch help or file a report.
Keeping the child's needs at the center
When abuse is a concern, keep the child's safety and well-being as the focus. Listen to the child without suggesting answers, asking them to take sides, or making them responsible for your safety or the outcome of adult disputes.
- Do not use the child as a messenger between adults.
- Do not ask the child to gather evidence or investigate.
- Do not conduct covert surveillance that could put you or the child at risk.
- Do not confront an alleged abuser directly.
- Do not violate a court order. If an order feels unsafe, ask a qualified attorney about legal options.
During separation, divorce, or custody proceedings
The period around separation can be especially dangerous when abuse is present. Risk can rise even after a relationship ends. A domestic-violence advocate can help you think through safer options for visits, exchanges, and communication. A qualified attorney can advise on custody orders and legal protections.
This website cannot interpret a court order or tell you to change custody arrangements. It does not decide fault or diagnose anyone. Avoid mediation or couples-counseling recommendations as a default response to coercive violence.
A question you can ask: "I'm worried about my child during visits or exchanges. What safety support and legal help are available, and how can I raise concerns without increasing danger?"
Talk with a professional
A domestic-violence advocate can help with individualized safety planning. These options contact external services, not Luke's Light staff.
Calls, texts, and websites may leave a record on your device. Use a device you believe is safer if you can.
Understanding concerning patterns
Educational content about warning signs and coercive control is available on our Learn pages. This content is general information, not a diagnostic tool, lethality checklist, or "family annihilator detector." Absence of listed behaviors does not prove safety.
This content has not been clinically reviewed. A trained professional can help assess your specific situation.